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A man stood next to an alleyway, a suitcase on his hand and a pipe in his mouth. He looked rather suspicious as he glared at everyone that walked past him. Yet, he did nothing and said nothing to those that went by. He only looked. It was as if he was searching for something specifically with the people he stared at. He looked carefully at their faces, weighing something in his mind. Those that he glimpsed at were put off by his glares. This caused a bit of people to try and avoid him. They feared that he would do something to them, so they walked other paths or looked the other way and ignored his presence. [break][break]

Weirdly, the man didn't glare at people for long. While a woman, who was holding the hand of a little boy that looked like her son, was walking towards him, the man decided to make his move. He stood in front of the woman. His sudden appearance causing her to shriek out and take a step back.  [break][break]

"Excuse me, miss," the man said as he looked at the woman with a creepy grin. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bell- Bartholomew. I am Bartholomew the doctor. I was just watching you walk with your son and I had to comment on you. You own jewel, don't you?" [break][break]

Such a weird question to ask, the woman thought. Yet still, she answered. Why wouldn't she? He called himself a doctor after all, and he wore a lab coat to show it. "Why... Yes. Yes I do." [break][break]

The man tsk'd at her. It was a tsk that one gave when they heard something both bad and typical at the same time. "May I?" the man asked. Immediately, he moved up to the woman, grabbed both of her facial cheeks with his hand, and started inspecting her. "Hmm," he sounded as he turned her head from side to side and up and down to get a better view of her features. "Hmm. Yes, I see. Hmm." When he was done looking at her face, the man dug in his suitcase and picked out a stethoscope. He placed the diaphragm against her chest to listen to her heartbeat. "Hmm. Yes, yes. Hmm. Yes, yes." [break][break]

When he was done, the man placed the stethoscope back in his suitcase. "Hmm, yes ma'am. It seems that you have the classic case of Jeweliostethoscepticalicalobootyitus." [break][break]

"Jewlio-... What?" The woman asked, clearly confused with what the man had diagnosed to her. [break][break]

"Jeweliostethoscepticalicalobootyitus. It is a new disease that results from owning jewels." [break][break]

"What?!" The woman exclaimed with extreme shock. [break][break]

"Mommy, are you going to die?" the little boy that held the woman's hand said. [break][break]

"Fear not, young man," the man quickly interjected. "This disease is only harming if jewels are in your immediate proximity. Thankfully, there is a treatment for jeweliostethoscepticalicalobootyitus, but it requires first throwing away all of your jewels. Come now, put your money into this bag before you experience anymore symptoms." [break][break]

"But..." the woman hesitated. "I need my jewel to buy items with it." [break][break]

"Fret not, miss," the man interjected yet again. "The government has recognized this disease as a serious problem and has thus replaced the currency of jewels with this: Cewel!" The man presented the new currency to the woman.  [break][break]

"... Isn't that just a rock?" [break][break]

"MADAM!" the man quickly shouted with anger. "Who do you think I am? Some type of scam artist trying to con you out of your money? I am a doctor. You see? I have the lab coat to prove it. Look at it! Look at my shiny-white lab coat!" [break][break]

"That is indeed a nice lab coat."  [break][break]

"EXACTLY! Now trust me when I say that I know what it is I'm talking about. Now come, give me all the jewels you own before you succumb to fatal injury. Jeweliostethoscepticalicalobootyitus kills 10 people a day!" [break][break]

"10 people are a lot..." [break][break]

"THEY ARE! Now, give me your jewels." The man held out a bag for the woman to place her money in. [break][break]

"Well, if you insist..." The woman was reluctant, but since she trusted in what the doctor said, she placed her money inside the bag. "Wait, this isn't enough. I have a lot more jewels at home. Will you wait here while I go and get them?" [break][break]

"Of course, madam. I'll be here all day. You must make sure every jewel near you is out of your hair so that you can make a safe recover. Go, get all of your jewels and return when you have them." [break][break]

The woman nodded to the man. "Come, Bobby," she said to her son. "We must run home quickly, as fast as we can!" With that, she ran the other way with her son following closely behind her. [break][break]

The man waved her off until she was out of sight. When he couldn't see her anymore, the man remained standing there for a slight moment. He stretched his hands a little, mocking the motion of a man that had just done a hard day's work. Looking at the bag of jewel the woman gave him, the man nodded to himself before stuffing it inside his lab coat and walking back to that corner in the alley that he stood at.  [break][break]

He stood there just as he was in the beginning, inspecting everyone that passed his way as usual.

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